October, 2011 ~
10 years ago, I fell in love with Reiki, a Japanese technique for relaxation and stress reduction that also promotes healing. I loved it because of the beauty behind the practice and also because of a vision I had for using it with my music to help make the world a better place.
Some years rolled bye, and my ego and identity got caught up in a specific path I was pursuing with my music, and there was no time for Reiki. It was a rigid path and I became more and more attached to the outcome until one day, I stopped hearing my Inner Voice altogether. “Inner Voice?” you ask...
What had once been a strong clear voice that brought inspiration for my songwriting and guidance on my life path had become a whisper and then was completely drowned out by my ego's frazzled agenda, which felt more like a run away train with each passing day.
That’s about when I was diagnosed with Acid Reflux, which plagued my vocal chords with swelling, effecting my ability to sing. I tried A LOT of things to address this issue -- both mainstream and alternative. Some things didn't help at all (the pills the specialist gave me). Some things made a tremendous difference, but only for a short period of time. I gave up coffee and alcohol and fried foods and stopped eating before bed, etc., etc. None of it solved the problem. Doubts echoed in my mind -- will I ever have my full voice back again? Some days it was truly heart breaking to have lost the source of my heart’s greatest joy, my soul’s purest calling.
To add insult to injury, the bones in my hands started hurting very badly, and I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. My whole body was speaking out about the way things were going in the only way that I would listen.
With sweet little Inner Voice still gagged and locked up in the corner, I continued to follow the pace and rigidity of Ego's dictatorship right into the fiery arms of an abrupt and startling burn out, and I honestly and genuinely wondered if I still loved music at all anymore. Depression began to take hold, and I became very desperate. I felt like my identity was being slain. I felt like I had lost my reason for living.
Then, something happened that changed everything. It had been so long since I had given or received Reiki that I had completely forgotten how powerful it is, so when a good friend offered me an informal impromptu Reiki session, I was not expecting anything. But the outcome was absolutely profound. Deceivingly simple... but absolutely profound. I heard my Inner Voice. Right out of the blue as clear as a bell. After 2 years with not one peep, this was the same voice that used to answer my prayers, now returning to me as an answer to my prayers with a simple directive. “Do Reiki.”
So I started doing Reiki again, and continued listening to my Inner Voice. It was WONDERFUL. I gave Reiki everyday to myself, to my husband, to our cats, to my family, and to my friends. I did it in person, and sent it across space and time, just like a prayer. And every time I gave it, my hands felt warm and pain free. My inner world was becoming more calm. I was doing more yoga. I was praying more, and hearing the answers. Voice students started pouring into my studio. I re-discovered singing for the pure love of it. I was pleasantly flooded with song ideas. And one day, I was inspired with the idea that I could self-rehabilitate my voice (with all my knowledge of vocal technique) to sing despite the swelling from the Acid Reflux. This has been an ongoing process.
My biggest personal Reiki miracle has been the return of my beautifully clear and now always present Inner Voice (or maybe depending on your perspective, we could call it the voice of God), and the effect of this on my life. I’m amazed now how I let myself -- my ego -- get in the way of the bliss of living every day for something greater than myself. I am so grateful to have this clarity back in my life, and I carry it close to my heart as I continue to teach, gig, sing, play, write, share, laugh, live, and love.
Friday, September 30th, 2011, I took the third (and final) level of Reiki Training, making me a Reiki Master. This means I can both practice Reiki and teach it. And immediately after the class, The Voice of inspiration was there filling my head with a vision of how to further use my gift of music together with Reiki to make the world a better place. What a precious gift that there are always new ideas coming down the pipeline of inspiration to keep the adventure fresh and new!
In Love and Gratitude.